Like too many of us, I spent many years being a magnet to partners that left me feeling unimportant, unaccepted, unloved, unworthy, and disrespected in the end. I endured one failed toxic relationship after another, until I had my awakening. I was the common denominator! Oh, trust me, they were crappy partners. The question I had to ask is why do I fall for them and why do I continue the dance all the while ignoring and making excuse for red flags. Through my awakening I realized that my entire focus had always been upon how to help fix them to become better partners. All my energy twirled around them as though they were my world. Around and around that world I danced. I had invested all my time and energy trying to get them to do what was virtuous and harmonious for the partnership. Meanwhile, I simultaneously allowed and endured their abuse. I found it impossible to move in sync with them, as their moves were all about themselves. They might as well have taken up line dancing because they sure weren’t partner dancing. This continued until I stopped trying to fix their steps and began focusing on my own. Why did I repeatedly attract dance partners that step all over me, yank and jerk me around, and all the while spinning me into the deep dark crevices of their personal hell? More importantly, why did I continue dances that left me feeling tattered, bewildered, and sucked dry? It wasn’t until I transitioned from victimhood to ownership and took responsibility for my part in the dance that I was able to work towards healing, growth, and recovery. I wanted to be the heroine in my story and not the victim. I am no longer a victim. I am a survivor helping others.
Our past will continue to show up over and over again until we heal from the faulty programming of our childhoods. As innocent children, we were supposed to feel loved, accepted, and like we mattered. For too many of us, sadly enough, that did not happen. Many families were built on neglect, shame, narcissism abuse, alcoholism, one addiction or another, causing emotional attachment traumas, many resulting in C-PTSD. Do you feel stuck in a perpetual whirlwind of failed relationships, leaving you frustrated, depressed, full of anxiety, and you can’t figure out why? Are you deficient of self-love and lack the boundaries to protect yourself from the wolves who wear sheep clothing? If you are Codependent, you need to know that the wounds caused by narcissistic abuse create powerlessness within your mind and body. None of it was your fault! Learning self-worth and how to set boundaries are the keys to obtaining a healthy attachment style and healthy relationships. Healing from faulty childhood programming and creating a new template is an intense recovery process, but so worth the prize! Your living in a perpetual cycle that you can break free from. Im here to help you to identify the patterns within your cycle and teach you how to create new healthy patterns.
Evolutionary function: attachment behaviors promote close proximity to the caregiver so that the child can be protected from danger.
Type of attachment is influenced by care-giving behavior; children can be categorized as:
2. Ambivalent (seek comfort but show anger or resistance) Avoidant.
Childhood Narcissism Abuse & Emotional Neglect
Romantic Narcissism Abuse